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Amy Ames: Music

Holy Balls

(Amy Ames)
July 14, 2011
Written by Amy Ames

Download at iTunes at:

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/holy-balls/id447451507?i=447451537

 

My grandma was a fun person who would light up a crowd with her quick wit and cowgirl singing.

One day she was driving her car over the bridge leaving South Padre Island.  Her boyfriend, Alvin, was sitting shotgun and I was in the back with Jackie.  Then this guy in a blue mustang cut us off. 

She yelled out, "Holy Balls.  Get the hell out of my way."

Alvin shook his head.  Jackie and I laughed and laughed.

The rest is in the song.

 

 

Holy Balls 

I was sitting shotgun when up ahead stood a big, old cow.

Grandma laid on the horn and pushed that peddle down.

I got a close up of his tail.  And I report his condition good.

He definitely was a male.  He left the evidence on the hood. 

 

Holy balls, holy balls that’s what my grandma would say.

Holy balls, holy balls get the hell out of my way.

 

The church ladies would congregate out in the front yard.

They asked me what my grandma said when she drove off in her car.

I said, Holy cow holy cow.  Then my grandma turned around.

You should have seen their face lifts, when she rolled her window down. 

 

Holy balls, holy balls that’s what my grandma would say.

Holy balls holy balls get the hell out of my way.

 

One day this guy in a Mustang rode right up on our tail.

She said get out.  Rubber sailed.  That goat wailed 

through the cornfield down the dirt road in her old GTO.

When that dust finally cleared up, she had turned that mustang to a colt. 

 

Holy balls, holy balls that’s what my grandma would say.

Holy balls holy balls get the hell out of my way.

 

Now my grandma was the nicest, the best grandma in the world.

But when she held onto the stick shift, I thanked God I was a girl.

 

Holy balls, holy balls that‘s what my grandma would say.

Holy balls holy balls get the hell out of my way.